Drunk
by Happiness's Deceit
Summary: When Ryou gets a little too much to drink... Fluff! Warning: Mild language, Bakura being OOC, etc. R&R, please! Now slight shonenai. Complete!
1. Drunk

Disclaimer: (sobs) WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

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Ryou sat on his bed, giggling cheerfully as his yami was overcome with the urge to pat him on the head. "Tell me another story, 'Kura!" Bakura's eye twitched. It was his Yadonushi's sixteenth birthday, and the sake (courtesy of one Malik Ishtar) was making him act…. funny.

"Yadonushi…" He hissed, though careful of his tone, "What the _hell_ are you doing?" Ryou pouted. "How come you can say bad words 'Kura? Mommy 'n Daddy 'n Amane say I can't! So how come you can?"

Bakura's eye twitched. And Ryou found this extremely funny. "Hey, didya know your eye's spasming? It was all twitchy like!" He burst into another fit of giggles as Bakura patted his soft hair. Bakura pushed back onto his pillow, his light's silvery hair spreading out on the pillow around him.

Ryou blinked owlishly before rubbing his eyes much like a child would. "'Kura? Are you gonna leave me someday? 'Cuz I never want you to leave 'Kura…why am I so sleepy? I'ma trying ta say someting ampertunt. (Translation: Bakura? Are you going to leave me someday? Because I never want you to leave Bakura…why am I so sleepy? I'm trying to say something important. (Remember, Ryou is _drunk_.))

He crawled up from his soft mattress and deposited himself onto Bakura's lap, sighing in contentment as he fell asleep. Bakura raised an eyebrow at the scene, seeing as he hadn't killed _his_ yadonushi yet. He smiled- no, not smirked- at the scene and decided to put him to bed.

AS he tried to leave, Bakura found a problem…Ryou was clamped onto his hair. He tugged it free, slowly, and went to bed. His Yadonushi was going to have a hell of a hangover the next day.


	2. Kiss the Cook

Disclaimer: …(points to word 'disclaimer') That means I'm not the author of Yu-Gi-Oh.

TT: Ok, well I got reviews for the fic, **Drunk, **so I decided to write another chapter! It's about Ryou's aftermath! Well…(points to title) that's what it says, right? Btw, characters _will_ be OOC. I guarantee it. Mild language! This is going to end more humor than fluff…I dunno yet. Bakura are a couple for this fic…maybe. Shonen-ai will be in this…not as much if you think of Ryou as drunk.

Kai: Replies to reviews are as follows:

Yugi's Light Keeps Me Pure: I'm glad you liked it! I wasn't sure whether to make him all baby like, but I think this worked out. Time for his hangover! Bwuahahahaha! (Coughs)… sorry 'bout that.

StormySkys: (nods) That is the wonders of having a bishounen like Bakura as a yami.

LeoOsaka: I thought he was rather kawaii as well…that didn't turn out the way I thought it would, but hey, it works.

dirty footprints: Gomen ne! I can't e-mail people. (I share my e-mail address with five other people.) I hope you like this, as you were the first person who told me to continue this.

TT: OK! Here's the summary: Ryou got drunk, and now he's suffering the side affects. He finds himself doing something strange, and jumps to a wrong conclusion. (And remember, I'm making him act drunk. Don't like it…. deal. I can't write a normal Ryou! (Sobs)) And…this is a happier drunk Ryou, because he's trying to get rid of his hangover.

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Ryou blinked his eyes before finding he couldn't concentrate. Bile rose in his throat and he rushed to the bathroom…sadly, he never made it. The small hikari fell and- well…he released his stomach fluids on a _very_ angry Bakura. Bakura glared at Ryou, grimacing at the condition of his brand new leather pants.

Ryou giggled, mumbling, "Hiya 'Kura. Yu no wat? I'ma goin' to go to da baftroom soon…bot I cat find da potty." (Translation: Hi Bakura. You know what? I'm going to go to the bathroom soon…but I can't find the potty.) Bakura backed away immediately from the albino.

He groaned. "Ry," he said in his softest voice, "you'd better go to the bathroom before I _kill_ you." Ryou cocked his head to the side, white strands hanging everywhere. His tangled hair didn't cover his sad look, however. "Wy, 'Kura? Ded Ryry do someting wong? Ryry did something wong, didun he? Ryry is so sowwy." (Translation: Why, Bakura? Did Ryou do something wrong? Ryou did something wrong, didn't he? Ryou is sorry.)

Bakura twitched. "Ry…. did you just give yourself a nickname? Bleh…" He muttered, disgusted, "It's like you've digressed ten years." Ryou sat on the ground, looking up at Bakura with large eyes. "'Kura…" Ryou moaned, his legs making him stand up. He started to do a funny looking dance.

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "What," he muttered sarcastically, "you got to go pee or something?" Ryou nodded, in unison saying, "Ryry gots to go potty! Ryry gots to go potty! Ryry gots to go potty! Ryry gots to go potty! Ryry gots to go potty!" Bakura squinted at his hikari, trying to figure what the _hell_ had replaced his hikari overnight.

After Ryou was- ahem, - relieved, he started stumbling down the hall, giggling like a maniac as he tripped and broke several things. When he finally got into the kitchen, he saw Bakura in an apron that said, 'Kiss the cook.' So Ryou blinked before plopping a big hug on Bakura's waist, seeing as he had fallento the ground.

Bakura was too busy trying to figure out how Ryou worked the 'Ra damned stove' to notice said hikari coming up. Reaction time: 0.2 seconds. He jumped into the air, shrieking at the top of his lungs. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! RA DAMN YOU ALL!"

Ryou looked at Bakura with lidded eyes…before starting to hiccup. "Wot's wong (hic) 'Kura? Wos Ryry (hic) bad? Ryry onwy (hic) twied to do wot da (hic) apwom sayed. (Hic)" (Translation: What's wrong (hic) Bakura? Was Ryou (hic) bad? Ryou only (hic) tried to do what the (hic) apron said. (Hic))

Bakura blinked. What…? He looked down at the apron, to see it was in kanji. He glared, as if it would somehow change the letters to hieroglyphics. He growled. "What did you DO yadonushi?" Ryou blinked. And slowly (By the power of the authoress's typing) his speech became intelligible, but he was still drunk. (You'll know when he's not because he'll call Bakura Bakura again.)

"I'm sorry, 'Kura," he cried, "but I cannot accept your affections. Last night, when you took me, I was drunk. SO now though I would like to cry in pleasure from beneath you, I cannot." …Bakura blinked. He quickly swapped his yadonushi over the head, effectively knocking him out. Bakura caught Ryou as he fell, bringing him up to his bed...but not before muttering, "Baka."


	3. Sober At Last

TT: Disclaimer: … (Glares word 'disclaimer')

Kai: Btw, characters _will_ be OOC. I guarantee it. Mild language! This is going to end more humor than fluff…I don't know yet. Bakura and Ryou are a couple for this fic…maybe. Shonen-ai will be in this…not as much if you think of Ryou as drunk.

TT: Replies to reviews are:

Yugi's Light Keeps Me Pure: I feel special! Actually, that idea came from that one commercial with all of the grills, with the guy that has that kind of apron? I'll try to keep writing, but don't expect anything too long! On yeah! I'm sort of on a scale with **Will you hold the moon for me?** All the votes are equal! (Starts cowering)

dirty footprints: Yes, you do sound like a teacher. Smile for the camera! (takes a picture) You are my first reviewer to write like that! (Gives you a Bakura plushie with a "Kiss the Cook" apron on it)

StormySkys: (blinks) Really? You found not much OOC-ness? ..That's amazing. Ryou is so kawaii…I can't write him normally, and you will see my attempt to in this chapter.

Kai: This is the last chapter, but fear not, if I get (1) person/people to ask for a sequel, we will write one! If not…well, we'll write the sequel, but not as a sequel! (Right…)

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Bakura groaned. His hikari was all over the place. He hadn't slept still all night. Bakura poked the twitching form of Ryou, snarling softly when the form grabbed his finger. Ryou put the finger in his mouth, and began to chew on it. He chewed the finger of his yami like a baby in its teething stage.

…Unfortunately, Ryou wasn't a baby, and he _certainly_ didn't have only a few teeth. Why is this important, you ask? The reason is simple: Ryou had all 32 of his teeth. And he was chewing. On Bakura's finger. Still following me? No? Good.

So…with every bite, a wince was shown on Bakura's normally still face. Every bite was followed by a soft whimper by Ryou. Bakura frowned. Rubbing Ryou's strangely soft head, he heard a soft purring. And no pain in his finger. He examined his finger. Ryou had let it go. And he was purring.

Bakura grinned. Ryou liked that, did he? Well then- Bakura patted Ryou's hair, hearing a soft mewling in protest. Ryou nipped at Bakura's leg, wanting to be pampered once more. Bakura looked at the silver-haired hikari and smirked, walking out. The hikari stumbled, and fell out of bed, waking up.

Ryou grimaced at the sight of his clothes. _What on earth-? _What happened? Ryou recalled Malik handing strange tasting water to him and then- blank. He straightened his clothes, and brushed his teeth, heading to the kitchen of course. What he saw surprised him. A clean kitchen, Bakura cooking, and…no death whatsoever. Very odd. Bamboozling.

Bakura was in a "Kiss the Cook" apron which looked ridiculous on him. As he heard his hikari walking through the door, he said, "You're not trying to get a hug out of me are you hikari? You know I'd kill you if I wasn't so…attached." Ryou froze. _What…?_

Bakura turned, expecting a drunken Ryou, a small smile on his face. However, once he saw Ryou, he blinked. "What have _you_ been doing hikari? Last I saw, you were drunk out of your mind." Ryou started. He hadn't thought Bakura would turn around.

"Well…I had a dream. A very _strange_ dream." Then he proceeded to tell Bakura _exactly_ what had happened in the past forty-eight hours. And as if on cue, Bakura burst out laughing, nearly frightening Ryou out of his mind. "What in Ra's name do you think you're doing, baka? That dream is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! …Forget it…"

He mumbled the last part softly, but Ryou heard it anyway. "'Kay Bakura-sama." Bakura blinked. "No more Bakura-sama, Ryou. Just Bakura." "Okay…Bakura." Bakura let out a small smile. "That's a good hikari. GO eat breakfast now." Ryou blinked, looking around. "…What breakfast, Bakura?" Bakura nearly burst a lung. "Oh my Ra! My pancakes!" He ran into the kitchen, glad he could at least keep the last days' memories for himself.

After heroically saving his pancakes, he set them on two plates, four for his hikari, fifteen for himself. Bakura nodded, seeing nothing wrong with his creation. "Hikari! Breakfast's ready!" Ryou rushed into the room, pausing before grabbing the plate with more pancakes on it. "Hikari! That's mine!" "What, this?" "Yes! …Wait, don't put that in your mouth! Why are you putting it back on your plate if you already chewed it hikari? Eew, don't do that! Eat it, don't eat it, I don't care, just get out of my sight!"

"Yes…'Kura." Ryou said teasingly. Bakura's eyes widened before running out of the room, screaming at the top of his lungs. "OH MY RA! WHAT'S WRONG WITH RYOU? DO YOU HATE ME RA? …Well, I know I wrecked your temples, yes, but COME ON! THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

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TT: I'm quite pleased with the results of this. R&R, please!


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